I’m a girl who suffers from many issues. I like to have my dishes done before I go to bed. I like sleeping with the ceiling fan and electric blanket on simultaneously. I’m secretly obsessed with the Bee Gees song “How Deep Is Your Love” right now. Obvious issues. I hate it when people leave their trash in my car. I still think the special effects in Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean video are pretty cool. I have a tendency to shut off any emotion that I don’t completely understand. I truly have many issues, but I’m not pretentious. I’m a single mom who cuts her own grass and cleans her own house. (Well, I at least accept that it’s my job even if I’m not always very good at it.) I don’t expect to be lavished in gifts and jewelry, and I’m not taking weekly shopping trips to expand my wardrobe. I’m fairly simple. Simple, should not in any way be confused with easy. I’m not easy. In fact I’m pretty sure that “INTENSE” is tattooed on my forehead. Being involved with me can sometimes be confused with a Homeland Security interrogation. I have lots of questions.
I’ve often wondered if before you enter a relationship with me you should be required to sign a disclaimer acknowledging my intensity, and probably a non-disclosure agreement as well. I like information. I’m an information junkie. I want to know what you’re thinking, what you’re dreaming about for your future, what your favorite candy bar is, what you’re feeling. I want to know if you ever tried to duplicate the scene in “Back to the Future” when they go 88 miles an hour to go back in time and done so on a dirt bike. I want to know how God speaks to you, and if you think Justin Timberlake’s new song is catchy. I want to know who the person is that you waved to at the store and if you like Coke or Pepsi. I want to know. I’m intense.
As I begin to make a mental list of “Attributes of Successful Relationships”, I’m constantly looking around to assess what I see as valuable. A few months ago I would have sworn that “Honesty” was essential, and while I still agree that honesty is vital…I’m adding an addendum. It’s actually more than honesty. I think (and I might add that I have no first hand knowledge) that successful relationships require transparency. Completely open, unashamed, unaltered transparency. Transparency is uncomfortable. There are no growing pains in it. There is just clear unapologetic people mess. No hiding from ourselves, no hiding from others, no hiding our emotions, no hiding our intentions, no hiding. Living out in the open. Clear and transparent.
So while I interrogate, it’s really just an avenue to look into someone…it’s a venue to see into their head, their heart and their soul. It doesn’t get any more intense than that. So while I continue to investigate my possible future as a homeland security interrogator, I’m officially adding transparency to the list of attributes that I’m striving for. Okay, so let’s get to it…what’s your favorite candy bar?