I have a confession to make. It’s one of those things that I do that I’m not proud of, something that I try to rationalize and reason away as “normal” or expected. Okay, here goes…I am a Facebook/Twitter/Instagram Stalker.
I use social media as a form of a FBI/Homeland Security background check. Now don’t worry, I’m not stalking everyone. I’m not stalking my friends, I’m really not stalking people that I’ve known for years…okay here’s what it boils down to. I stalk my kids, I stalk my kids friends, I stalk my significant other (still not loving the word “boyfriend” in describing a 40 year old man), and I stalk everyone that he is friends with.
Okay, the kid stalking on Facebook clearly just makes me a good mom. the more I know about what my children and their friends are willing to share with the world allows me to be more targeted in my teachable moments, and honestly more able to say, “You’re crazy if you think you’re going to….”. Stalking my children on social media is just participating in parts of them that they will share with the world.
Now, let’s talk about stalking my significant other. Sigh. Why do we as women need to know every person that our guys are friends with? Why do we need to know, how you know them, when the last time you saw them, are they still friends with your ex, where they work, what they had for lunch… and we do want to know. Even while I’m doing it, I know I’m crazy! Why do I care if some girl named Jill tags my guy in a story about a crazy night 20 years ago.
Sigh…it makes no sense. It gives us no more actual control, it’s just the continual soothing balm of social media making us feel “in the loop”. I’ve stopped Facebook stalking my guy, and instead have opted for the very old fashioned action of communication. Instead of trying to spy and seek out information behind the scenes, I just started asking. If I want to know, I’m just going to ask.
What I know for sure is that I’ve dated plenty of guys that I never once cared about who their Facebook friends were. Never once noticed a status that made me need to delve in deeper, never even made me think twice. So, if I’m looking at your friends list and asking how you know someone, it’s because I care about you, I want to know you better, and frankly I want a bigger place in your life. So let me ask, who do you stalk?