Excuse me…Is There An Undo Button?!?
In my 39 years on this earth, I continue to be amazed sometimes at my level of stupidity. Sometimes, I think that eating pizza late at night won’t make me “that sick”, sometimes I think that staying up really late to finish the movie I have seen 462 times won’t make me “that tired” and sometimes I think that I alone can handle the things that prevent me from being who God wants me to be.
Yesterday was a bad day. I had a major meltdown full of verbal vomit outing my insecurities and labeling me high maintenance. Which truth be told, yesterday I was indeed high maintenance. This morning I was praying about it, hoping that God’s grace would take away the feelings of stupidity and insert opportunity. Because the only positive thing to being raw and vulnerable and stupid is the chance for growth.
So today as I issue apologies for my meltdown, I pray that those that love me know that I need tremendous grace from them as well. I’m not perfect, I’m not easy, but I always try to channel the grace of God, and pray that it can be channeled back to me. It’s at times like this when real intimacy is developed. Times when you have an uncomfortable situation, you deal with it, you get a gameplan together, and then you move forward. True relationships are forged in the adversity of life.
So today, I’m sorry that I’m full of crazy outbursts and I’m sorry that my actions effect other people. Today, I reminded that I’m still on the Potter’s wheel. That God still has so much work to be done, and that work sometimes is hard. I’m listening and trying to be better everyday.