I was a young elementary student during the Cold War, which as it turns out, roughly translates into “I’m Old.” We spent time weekly practicing bomb drills and emergency plans. We were told that if we properly hid under of very strong desks, that the initial impact of the bomb wouldn’t be quite so bad. Clearly, we all knew then that Nuclear fallout cannot penetrate metal classroom desks. We were indoctrinated with tales of dictatorship, severe human rights injustices and fuzzy muted toned movies that showed miserable children in school. As we sat in our classrooms, looking miserable, we also learned about how things worked in the Soviet Union. How most citizens were allotted equal amounts of financial compensation regardless of their occupation. We learned that you were “assigned” a job at a young age based on aptitudes, and were bred to succeed in that course of life. We learned about a country that didn’t give choices, they just gave assignments.
Being a young white girl from the suburbs, I was appalled at the very idea of being assigned ANYTHING! I found injustice and in certain homework assignments that didn’t (in my expert 7 year old opinion) properly fit the curriculum, and took every opportunity to do it my way. How could an entire society of people tolerate a life without choice?!?
This year as I begin to reflect on 2014 and begin to plan for 2015, I’m intentional in prayerfully trying to incorporate God’s will into my life. As I have gotten older, I have begun to realize that our ultimate purpose here is to bring the Kingdom of God closer to us on Earth. We are designed with a devine plan. I keep finding myself wishing that God worked like the Soviet Union in the 70’s. I keep praying that at some point I am handed a decree that states EXACTLY what God designed me to do, and well…step by step directions to get it done.
Maybe there’s something to be said for assignments. While God gifted us with freewill, I can’t help but wish that maybe…just maybe on this one thing He would just tell me. Don’t get me wrong, I know some of “the plan”. I know that I’m designed to be a mother. I’m designed to be in a committed relationship. I’m designed to encourage, and lead, and support. But how do I best incorporate all of these gifts into my life?
As I spend this year “dating” ideas about how to fulfill God’s plan, I will remember that I have choices. I will remember that God is full of Grace, and that maybe just maybe God’s ultimate plan is to spread His love whatever way i can do it. As I “try-on” different roles to discover my purpose, I will spend some time thanking God for allowing me the peace in my life to investigate my role. I will thank God for the choice, and the grace when I get it wrong.
As I continue to look for the Divine decree with God’s job assignments on it, I will work on discovering on my own what feeds my soul. I will remember that I have a purpose and plan in the journey of discovery and that He is faithful in teaching me lessons along the way. It’s time. What am I going to do with my life?