We are coming up on that magical time of year. The time of year that consumes us with sparkling lights, Christmas carols as we shop for canned ravioli, and the smell of cinnamon infused pine cones inside virtually every department store…and grocery store…and sadly, gas station. It’s the time of year that requires us to wrap gifts in shiny paper, to fein excitement of mediocre party appetizers and to have our credit cards at the ready. It’s the time where we buy, buy, buy.
We spend hours and hours shopping for precisely the right gift, sometimes researching consumer reports and measuring to make sure it will fit perfectly so that when we swipe that credit card, we just know. We know that it’s exactly what we wanted. We know exactly what we are getting.
There’s a transaction that occurs. A financial ledger that requires cost vs worth to be analyzed and considered so that at the time of purchase you understand what you will be taking home.
Our relationships really aren’t that different. We begin each relationship measuring cost/benefit, researching histories, and picturing what they will look like after purchase. All relationships start out as transactional. Weighted, balanced, and frankly…emotional cash flow charts. But at some point after you have carefully considered the cost/benefit you have to decide if you are going to purchase. You have to reach into your purse, dig deep, and get out your checkbook. You have to open your check book and sign a blank check.
Covenant relationships require blank checks. You know who you are writing it to, you sign your name at the bottom and you hopefully fill the memo line with words of companionship, joy and love, but in reality you have no idea how much it’s actually going to cost. There’s always a mystery to relationships, an unknown that cannot be avoided, but true covenant requires that you just sign your name and decide that you are buying in to everything that has happened in your partners past and everything that is coming in the future. You sign your name because you have carefully researched and analyzed and you know that the cost/benefit looks pretty good.
Blank checks can be scary, but they are the only way we can truly be ourselves in relationships. Covenant relationships require unconditional, open ended, grace filled love. A blank check requires someone who can deal with my kids, my family, my all go no-stop persona, my love for off color comedy and my total passionate insanity. Blank checks require faith, trust and the Grace of God.
I’m signing a blank check. And, I’m buying the ravioli.