I’m 42 years old.  It’s not that I turned 42 today or anything, but on this Monday immediately following Daylight Savings Time adjustments, I am reminded that I am 42.  There’s a certain comfort that I have in my own skin now.  A certain understanding of my body that has been a gift with age.  I know that while tropical weather makes for great vacations, it actually turns my hair into something that resembles 90’s Metal Band hair.  I know that when I see a really cute pair of

Raising two girls kept my house full of action, unexpected outbursts of Disney Princess songs, and what I have lovingly named “estrogen grenades.” There was always a faint smell of the complete inventory of Bath and Body Works, hair ties randomly found in every room and an odd amount of glitter that would hang in the air for years, only to be found at odd times in very odd places. My girls each had their own rooms and shortly after we moved in they decided to decorate and p

I’ve always been independant.  Well, I’ve always tried to be independant.  My mom tells an adorable story about when I was 18 months old and my first grammatically incorrect sentence was “My do it.”  And that toddler totally believed that she could…and she would…and then sometimes…she didn’t. Yesterday I left work to check on my daughter and to run some errands, but I  also left work because I  had extreme body aches.  Uncomfortable, confusing horrible aches.  After touching

When I was a little girl my mom and her siblings would all bring their families together for holidays.  We’re talking Christmas, New Year’s, Memorial Day, 4th of July…you name it.  There were 6 siblings including my mom and, we would gather at someone’s house, have a potluck that looked like a grocery store exploded, and eat and laugh and enjoy being together.  My grandfather, the patriarch of the family, had 5 strong independent girls, but each of them placated him in his pr

One day at the ripe mature age of 17, I was running around with my friends.  There was this special place tucked back in the woods where you could cliff dive into the lake below.  With great bravado, I put on my swimsuit, hiked up to the top of the cliff and tamed my 1990’s style hairdo into a ponytail.  I was ready.  As I looked over the edge I couldn’t breathe.  It seemed to be 100’s of feet down, I couldn’t tell how deep the water was, and I wasn’t sure how exactly to jump

I grew up in a household with a charismatic, charming, entertaining brother who had a moral opposition to dead air space. He was infectiously fun, quite the contrast to my dark and serious personality, and would commandeer a room with his mere presence. His charisma did not allow me to have much of a chance to…well…talk. When I was 8 years old, I decided that I would start to help my mom make dinner. Helping my mom allowed me to learn to cook, but more importantly, it gave m

Smart phones have changed our lives. I mean sure, they allow us to carry around maps, an encyclopedia, a bible, a camera, news, weather, and if we so desire, the ability to play Tetris at stop lights. (But don’t do that…it’s illegal.) Smart phones let us stay in contact with everyone by text message, when all else fails an actual phone call, and who can forget the opportunities that smart phones provide to paint an exasperated picture of happiness on social media. Smart phon

There are certain special moments that young parents experience with their young children. There are first words, rolling over for the first time, first steps, and first days at school. There are so many milestones packed into only a handful of years that if you’re not careful you can get an almost historical whiplash that leaves you wondering where time went. One summer day when I was relishing the joy of being a stay at home mom to my 3-year-old and 1 year old daughters, a

At the ripe old age of 41 years old, I find myself in the position of planning a wedding. Although I admit there is very little actual “wedding planning” and much more “marriage planning” happening, I am without a doubt “planning”. As I look through pictures of white dresses and leaf through appetizer menus, I can’t help but wonder what I want this moment in time to look like. Weddings are a moment of promises and deeply felt intentions. Weddings are full of idealized visi

When I was a little girl, I was terrified of fireworks.  While there is a part of me that wants to defend my position because fireworks were notoriously unsafe in the 1980’s, but somewhere in my head, I know that I was just scared.  I would spend the 4th of July with my head buried in my mom’s shoulder just praying for it to be over.  I would squeeze my eyes shut tightly and just breathe my way through.  I was terrified of the noises.  I hated being caught off guard, and shak

When I was a little girl I used to dream of being a professional singer.  Not necessarily Beyoncé style (although in retrospect that would have been one amazing dream) but a singer nonetheless.   I wanted to perform in front of thousands of people and have a microphone where I could share stories and witty sarcastic antidotes that would make people happy.   I would wear outfits that would hug all the right curves and have hair that would flawlessly flow down my back.  Okay, m

#Women #Faith #Surprises #Friends #God #Relationships

When I was little and my brother and I would get into a fight, my diplomatic and hippie-era mother would insist that we “talk it out”. While I hope this had to do with the fact that he was a boy and two years older than me and she was somehow concerned about my physical well-being, I suspect that it really had to do with the fact that she truly believed in communication to avoid violence. (Almost makes you want to sing a Peter Paul and Mary song.) My mom really believed th

The other day at work during a bout of snowy Ohio weather, I found myself at work alone. The ladies I work with were all stuck in traffic, and so when the office opened, it was just me and one doctor. The first patient of the day slowly made her way up to the window. She quietly gave me her name and the very charming woman, who must have been around 80 years old, completed the check in process. Her husband was scheduled for an appointment as well, so I asked her where he

I think it should be noted in the official transcript of life that “I don’t know what I’m doing!” It’s funny that the older I get the more I questions my next move, the more I analyze my timing and the more I pray and pray and pray about the next decision that I will make. It’s not that I’m incapable of implementing a solution or lack the will-power and tenacity to move forward, it’s just that I don’t know what I’m doing. Life moves very, very fast. I feel like I went from

I just returned home from vacation. A real true, never before experienced grown up vacation complete with swimming pools, Jamaican cocktails, and as it turns out an appreciation for the art-form of American indoor plumbing. I swam in pristine waters, drank bartender specials, and sat on a second story deck listening to live music watching the ocean waves crest on the shore. It was a wonderful week. It was peaceful, it was calm, it was…needed. It was needed for none of th

We are coming up on that magical time of year. The time of year that consumes us with sparkling lights, Christmas carols as we shop for canned ravioli, and the smell of cinnamon infused pine cones inside virtually every department store…and grocery store…and sadly, gas station. It’s the time of year that requires us to wrap gifts in shiny paper, to fein excitement of mediocre party appetizers and to have our credit cards at the ready. It’s the time where we buy, buy, buy.

Not so long ago I bought a car. It’s less than a year old, and I admit that I still find myself wowed by the heated seats and bluetooth. I love my car. What I hate is the car buying experience. Buying a car seems to require a certain level of equal parts tenacity and sleeze. It’s a negotiation so that the dealership makes money and you walk away feeling like maybe you didn’t get screwed as bad as you could have. There is this almost dance of passing numbers back and for

My boss is very pregnant with her first child. Very pregnant. Like so pregnant that you can’t help but wonder everytime she’s a little late for work if this is “the day”. She walks around looking absolutely stunning and self-assured…nothing like how I looked when I was pregnant. She and I are almost the same age. I say almost because she’s a little younger than me, but I figure, I can use the the age curve. While my boss gets ready to give birth to her first child, and

Dear Michelle, While I acknowledge that it has been a rough week, I need you to remember something. You are not broken, you are not unlovable, you are not beyond repair. What you are is faithfully following where God is leading you. Please continue to pray and to listen and to be greatful for the joy that following has allowed you to experience. You are strong and driven and motivated and desperately seeking where and how to move, but know that God is working on it…He’s wo