I have always been a diet soda drinker.  Yes, even as a kid there would be empty glass bottles of diet soda that I would sneak the last slurp out of before they were taken back for recycling.  It was of course not recycling like we have today, but you would take your glass bottles back to the store, get a cash refund and then watch them head down a conveyor belt of unknown destination while you planned how you would spend the $3.96 you received for your 47 bottles.  It took m

Do you ever have one of those years?  You know what I mean, one of those years that left an impression on you that cannot be erased and will someday have a nickname like, “the year I was pregnant”, “the year I got married”, “the year my cousin died”, “the year I lost my job”, or even “the year I got sick.”  There are just years that fundamentally change your life.  I remember the year I became a mom like it was yesterday.  I was a young mom, and yet as soon as the doctor hand

I love going out to eat.  There’s something about being at a restaurant watching the waiters and bartenders scurry through their evening that just draws me in.  I love watching other patrons as they interact with each other, watching them sometimes immerse themselves in their phones regardless of the person they brought with them across the table, and I love trying to guess what is going on in their lives.  Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I love people watching.  I love it w

As a little girl, I had horrible ear infections.  They would usually start with a normal cold and before you knew it, I couldn’t hear, and then debilitating pain.  They made me unable to concentrate, barely able to have a conversation, and just praying for relief. As a child of the 70’s, this ear pain would get me straight to the doctor.  The doctor’s office was full of children with different ailments, and the large room was divided by an imaginary boundary of “sick children

You know the worst thing about the unexpected, is it is just that…unexpected.  It started out like every other morning complete with me standing in front of the Keurig, utterly annoyed that it was taking so long to warm up.  As I stood their piercing that green circle flashing around what was clearly the largest acceptable cup of coffee Keurig ever envisioned, I began to wonder if maybe when this cup was finished if I should go ahead and brew a second cup to be on standby.  A

I’m 42 years old.  It’s not that I turned 42 today or anything, but on this Monday immediately following Daylight Savings Time adjustments, I am reminded that I am 42.  There’s a certain comfort that I have in my own skin now.  A certain understanding of my body that has been a gift with age.  I know that while tropical weather makes for great vacations, it actually turns my hair into something that resembles 90’s Metal Band hair.  I know that when I see a really cute pair of

There was a time not so long ago when I lived in a house that was constantly under various stages of construction. Sometimes there was a necessary home repair, and sometimes there was a new project. It seemed that there was always a slight haze of drywall dust in the air and an orange five gallon bucket full of stuff I might need sitting in the corner. There were putty knives, hammers, screw drivers, nails, screws, box cutters, electric drills, googles, masks…almost anythi

Raising two girls kept my house full of action, unexpected outbursts of Disney Princess songs, and what I have lovingly named “estrogen grenades.” There was always a faint smell of the complete inventory of Bath and Body Works, hair ties randomly found in every room and an odd amount of glitter that would hang in the air for years, only to be found at odd times in very odd places. My girls each had their own rooms and shortly after we moved in they decided to decorate and p

I’ve always been independant.  Well, I’ve always tried to be independant.  My mom tells an adorable story about when I was 18 months old and my first grammatically incorrect sentence was “My do it.”  And that toddler totally believed that she could…and she would…and then sometimes…she didn’t. Yesterday I left work to check on my daughter and to run some errands, but I  also left work because I  had extreme body aches.  Uncomfortable, confusing horrible aches.  After touching

My life hasn’t been that different than the jugglers really.  I have taken one ball at a time and began to orchestrate a delicate dance of throwing and catching life’s balls.  The dance soon included two balls…maybe a marriage…a baby…a job.  Soon the balls began to mount as growing financial concerns were at play, and now another baby was on the way, and hurtful and painful words were swirling around me.  I continued with athletic accuracy to catch each ball that was tossed t

My grandpa loved football.  He spent most weekends with his eyes focused on the television, cheering for whatever team was winning at the moment.  He would do his famous sit/lie sideways on his couch and watch the game with a muted television, but complete with closed captioning.  We were told many times that his heart couldn’t handle the stress of the game with the sound on, so he watched without sound.  That’s not to say he watched in silence…no, no.  My grandpa was the wor

It’s not that I planned on being pregnant at 19. I mean don’t get me wrong I wasn’t an “afterschool special” or anything. I was married and I eventually wanted kids, it just happened way before I was ready. As I struggled through diapers and breast-feeding and formula I soon realize that it wasn’t like it looked in the brochure. Every milestone came after much anticipation and provided instant relief of “Whew! Thank God I didn’t screw that up.” The time eventually came to sta

When I was a kid we would often spend holidays with my extended family. Not just Thanksgiving and Christmas, (although those were some of the best) but also Labor Day, Memorial Day and when pushed…Flag Day. My mom had 4 sisters and a brother and between all of them they had tons of kids, so when we all descended on my grandparents’ house it was like locusts. There was chatter and noise, and tons of hustle and bustle preparing food and allowing my mom and her siblings to catch

I grew up in a household with a charismatic, charming, entertaining brother who had a moral opposition to dead air space. He was infectiously fun, quite the contrast to my dark and serious personality, and would commandeer a room with his mere presence. His charisma did not allow me to have much of a chance to…well…talk. When I was 8 years old, I decided that I would start to help my mom make dinner. Helping my mom allowed me to learn to cook, but more importantly, it gave m

Smart phones have changed our lives. I mean sure, they allow us to carry around maps, an encyclopedia, a bible, a camera, news, weather, and if we so desire, the ability to play Tetris at stop lights. (But don’t do that…it’s illegal.) Smart phones let us stay in contact with everyone by text message, when all else fails an actual phone call, and who can forget the opportunities that smart phones provide to paint an exasperated picture of happiness on social media. Smart phon

At the ripe old age of 41 years old, I find myself in the position of planning a wedding. Although I admit there is very little actual “wedding planning” and much more “marriage planning” happening, I am without a doubt “planning”. As I look through pictures of white dresses and leaf through appetizer menus, I can’t help but wonder what I want this moment in time to look like. Weddings are a moment of promises and deeply felt intentions. Weddings are full of idealized visi

The next morning after our shopping experience, I laid her brand new dress on her bed, I choose shoes from her closet that would most appropriately complete the ensemble, I laid out a ribbon for her hair and said six words…”Shannon, it’s time to get dressed!” I stood by her bed picturing her “oohs and ahhs” over getting to finally wear the outfit she had just the day before chosen. As she walked into the room, she smiled at me and then headed toward her bed to get dressed.

#Fear #Moms #EmptyNest #Faith #Uncertainty #Parenthood #God #Sinnglemom #Jesus

#Fear #Moms #EmptyNest #Faith #Uncertainty #Parenthood #God #Sinnglemom #Jesus