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• Michelle Wells

# Equations

I’m not a math person. I did okay with basic math, basic accounting, algebra, trigonometry, but something happened in my head when I started calculus. Something in my brain just couldn’t make it make sense. It seems almost asinine to me to have an equation in front of you that takes hours to work on to come up with an answer that can only be classified as “right” or “wrong”. Math involves, measuring, calculating, dividing, multiplying, adding, analyzing, and ultimately comes down to one question…is it right?

Are relationships like great big giant story problems? “There was a woman with 16 years of baggage and a man with 22. If they put their baggage together, how many therapists will it take to make it happily ever after?” Is that how it works? I know how dating works (Think perpetual job interview/7th ring of hell), and I theoretically understand that marriage is about companionship, commitment, and ultimately “doing life together”, but I’m really fuzzy on the proper way to build a good relationship.

I want the road to relationship building to be a scientific process. I want there to be steps, an occasional need for protective eyewear so nothing messy blinds you, an explosion or two, that although very scary is kinda cool, mixing chemicals that causes uncontrollable eruptions, and at the end you have a finished product. Maybe it doesn’t look exactly how it would if the Myth Busters crew were handling it, but close enough. What I’m afraid is that building a relationship is more feeling your way through and less scientific process. What I’m learning is that everyone’s story looks very different. What worked for one couple may not work for another couple. There is no timeline that’s right, no process that’s right and no “should” that fits every relationship. I know that as you solve more and more of the relationship equation; you continue to take steps toward one another. What I do know is that after you have worked through your story problem you have to ask the question that all equations need to know. Is it right?…The question really is…is he the one?